Folk music

It would only be gay had he missed

I don't know how people watch Monday Night Football on ESPN. That crew is awful. Tony Kornheiser is the equal to a series of taps of a ping hammer on my testicles. Mike Tirico is like Urkel 2.0. And Ron Jaworski may break down tape well, but he's awful at color commentary.

Plus, have you seen a more unbalanced call than last night. I bet they all did a line of coke after Nick Folk's field goal because they were so bummed. Even the sideline girls were quick to report Dallas misfortune compared to Kevin Everett walking again.

Kornheiser kept asking what did the Bills have to do to win the game. Here are a few hints:

1. Don't do an end-around on a third-and-1 on a potential game clinching drive.

2. When the Cowboys need four yards to get into field goal position, cover the sidelines so they can't stop the clock.

3. Don't try for a long field goal before the half giving the Cowboys premium field position for their own try.

Nonetheless, a win's a win, right? I thought the Cowboys were screwed. By the way, did any one draft class have a bigger game last night than 2007's? Deon Anderson, Folk and Anthony Spencer were all great, making gigantic plays.

On to the grades:

Quarterback -- F
It's pretty clear that Tony Romo had the worst game in his career. And yet he had the balls to go out for about three out of four series and drive his team for scores. He was the reason they were losing the game and he's part of the reason they won.

Running Backs -- D
The Dallas Cowboys can not run the ball. Seriously. This is an issue and at some point a good team (ahem, next week) will take advantage if they don't adjust. Deon Anderson, as noted, was pretty good out of the backfield. I assume he can block, but he may be well worth the draft pick if he can come of the backfield and catch the ball like that.

Wide Receivers -- D
Is Terrell Owens dropping the ball again? That's two straight weeks in which he's trapped balls underneath him. Then there was that receiver screen where he took his eyes off the ball. The two-point conversion. He has been sporadic the last two games. Hopefully the challenge of Randy Moss next week will spur him toward, you know, catching the ball. Sam Hurd and Patrick Crayton are pretty good receivers.

Tight Ends -- A
Jason Witten continues to have a career year. You win games with guys like Tony Curtis who may have made the play of the game.

Offensive Line -- B
No sacks. Shakey at first but came together for three quarters to provide pretty nice protection. No silly, drive-killing penalties. If they can learn to run the ball, they might have something.

Defensive Line -- A
Wish there could be a little more pressure, but the run defense was fantastic, especially on the fourth down try early and late when they needed a stop.

Linebackers -- A
Spencer seemed to be in the backfield the entire game. DeMarcus Ware made some plays. Akin Ayodele and Bradie James were everywhere.

Secondary -- C
Never tested deep, but seemed to give up large chunks on the short passes. Terrance Newman looked quick and tackled well. Roy Williams missed several tackles. And if Robert Royal goes for another 12-yard pass, someone needs to be cut.

Special Teams -- C+
Mixed bag. Two straight weeks allowing a kick return. But Nick Folk has been a golden god. What a fantastic draft pick and a great decision to keep him over Martin Gramatica. But can we do something a bout the hoop earring?

Coaching -- D
Were the Cowboys unfocused? Unprepared for the environment? Something stunk and it wasn't just Tony Romo.

Overall -- D
Defense and a few key offensive and special teams plays propelled this thing to 5-0. But calling it "rough" is the understatement of the year.