Speechless

It's not a Cowboys suite, but it's still romantic

It's hard to believe that the top stories in Dallas sports this morning are as follows:

1. It's Sept. 30 and the Rangers were eliminated from playoff contention.

2. A couple was caught on video bumping uglies in a suite at JerryWorld Monday night.

3. Omar Vizquel wants to fight a bull (the winter after wrasslin' an anaconda).

I'm sad about the Rangers. They play hard most nights and they still wind up getting criticized for essentially not being the Dallas Cowboys.

The sex thing brings up an excellent point of discussion. How many sex acts are done at any given stadium each week?

I'm talking mouths, hands, feet, vaginas, penises and anything else that would incite male orgasm. Let's just throw in self love while we're at it.

I would guess no less than three, but probably no more than 10. For one, the suites are ripe for that kind of thing. Between just finding a bathroom, a corner or a corner in the bathroom, you don't need a whole lot of room to get to that moment of extreme pleasure.

Hell, you don't really need a girl.

I think the bigger question is how many of these moments take place among the general public -- in the cheap seats, in (inter)concourse areas, amid trash and filth in dark nooks? I think things happen more than we realize.

And it makes me kinda hot.